Delicious Decisions

Fr. Michael and I went to Lena's this past weekend to get some homemade ice cream. The kids that work there have a tip jar that says Tips for College. While awaiting his sundae, Michael asked where the young ladies were intending to go to school. One was planning to study holistic medicine and massage therapy at a nearby institute while the other girl was hoping for a career in engineering. As we walked toward the car, Michael said, "Kids today are so intelligent. They have such a firm grasp on their future and what career choices they should be making. Me? 'Um, yes, I think I'll study religion and get my masters degree in theology so that I can work in the fitting room of The Gap at age twenty-nine.' Jesus wept! The choices I've made for myself often have me questioning my intellect and if I indeed have any at all."

Eric

(photo kidnapped from zimbio)

Discussing the men of True Blood with Michael, he went on a bit of a rant over what seems to be everyones favourite hunk on the show, Eric Northman played by Alexander Skarsgård. I think he's most certainly a handsome fella, but Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) is the one who holds my gaze. Michael, ever the honest if slightly bitchy man that he is, said this of Eric, "He looks as though he had a peripheral role on some USA original series that ran for 3 weeks and was promptly canceled. There is nothing extraordinary about him whatsoever." Ouch! Luckily, Mr. Skarsgård won't lose an ounce of sleep over that comment. How could he hear it over the screaming adoration of three-fourths of the country's population - male as well as female? He couldn't.

Christian Dentistry

Fr. Michael was ranting about a local advert he saw on the telly the other night: "A commercial for Christian Dentistry featuring the dentist's children saying 'M'Daddy loves Jesus AND your teeth!' I wanted to immediately take up devil worshiping. I wanted to sell - no give - my soul to Satan. Liza, I need to find a new religion because I can't, I can't...Can you imagine going to the dentist and hearing about the Lord? Gimme a fucking break. I'd fuckin' kill myself. Unbelievable..."

P'shaw!

So I finally got a chance to catch up with Melissa the other night and she was filling me in on her weekend. Saturday night the hurricane was getting into full swing and Melis was on her feet all night at the restaurant. They decided to close early and she said that there was one older couple that seemed unfazed by the roaring winds and torrential downpour. Melissa told me, "This old guy was a total World War 2 vet - I could just tell from looking at him. I told him that we would be closing early cause of the storm and he looked at me as if to convey 'Hurricane? I killed Nazis fer Chrissakes. Bring me another scotch, sweetie!' I was almost furious with them for staying so late and drinking themselves into oblivion, but he referred to his wife at one point as his bride, so I couldn't stay mad." (As she told this story I pictured Carwood Lipton in a blue polo shirt and freshly pressed slacks with white leather loafers.)

Great Minds...

...think alike. Responses from myself and my brothers David & Xavier to an email sent from our mother:

Mum:
Hey I just heard that Joey Vento of Geno's steaks died of a heart attack. It is that damn cheese!

Sent from my iPad

Me:
good riddance. one less racist to plague our city.

Dave:
or the fact that he was a raging racist filled with hate....
Hate and cheese filling will eventually kill any man.

and Xavier:
Yay!!! I hated that guy!

(We are a family who hates hate.)

At His Request

Last night at Bishop's we were relaxing and watching random TV shows. During the break we saw an advert for Shark Attack 3-D or some such garbage. I turned to Bishop and said, "Ya know what 3-D is? It's James Blunt. We've seen what it can produce and we are no longer interested." Bishop cackled and then instructed me to immediately write that down and post it. I feel obliged to state that although I do not care for Mr. Blunt's song, I did see him on Top Gear and he seems like a lovely and charming man.

Holy Undiepants

Last night Fr. Michael and I were chatting and smoking out on his front porch and somehow the conversation turned towards Christianity, especially hard core crazy Christians. Michael spoke of Christ and who the man really was and what he stood for and I made the observation:
"Jesus was a laid back cat. He wore a dress and sandals. And I bet he didn't even sport undiewear."
There was a pensive pause and Michael finally said, "Well....I never gave that much thought, but I'm sure that's quite accurate." He then resumed his speech as normal.