Move Over Joan Crawford...

(photo kidnapped from allthingscrawford)

...there's a new diva to be reckoned with, and her name is Bishop. Last night Bishop and I were hanging out when we came upon the topic of this new thing with kids using bath salts as drugs and Bish went bananas. I mean, he lost his damn mind. He started ranting and yelled, "These mutha-fuckers are fuckin' up my bath time!!" Hmmm....gangsta, yet girly. Interesting combination, don't you agree? Don't fuck with this drama queen's bath time, cuz he'll cut a bitch. And you know it.

At Last

Fr. Michael informed me, tongue-in-cheek, just the other day that, "It's taken two thousand years, but Pope Benedict has finally exonerated the Jews for the death of Christ." Well thank goodness. I'm sure there were legions of Jews up nights worrying themselves sick over this. Maybe a few Romans as well, perhaps?

Sassy Scott

During game night at my brothers, we were playing Uno Attack! when the topic of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan came up. I said, "When I heard that the tsunami was heading to Hawaii my first thought was seriously, 'Oh my God, I hope Scott Caan is okay!' - it's twisted but I honestly was kinda concerned." Then from the other room, my brother Dave said, "He was in the air with T.C. so he's cool, don't worry." Nice reference, bro.

Die, Mommie, Die!

(photo kidnapped from playbill)

There are so many fabulously funny lines in Die, Mommie, Die! However, my personal favourite is when Angela's husband tells her, "Nobody would hire you to sing at a dog fight." Ouch! That's gotta sting....

Charlie Sheen

My father stated today that he feels that Charlie Sheen is "a two legged rectum." Well, there ya have it.

Mother!

Weaving around the many people clustered together and walking to their cars in the Whole Foods lot, my mother noticed an older man wearing an ashen white face and looking cold and tired. I did not take note of this man since I was scoping out parking spots for her. So imagine my surprise when out of the clear blue nowhere my Irish Catholic mama says, "Him pale face." WTF??? Him pale face? Really? Really?? Well thank you for that commentary, Mrs. Silverheels. Yeesh...

The Tragedy of 2008

Years ago I was at Bishop's house and an advert for A Raisin in the Sun starring Sean P. Diddy Diddy Puffy Puff Daddy Combs came on the telly. Bishop clutched his head in pain and screamed "What??!!?" From the computer desk in the next room we heard Bishop's husband, Pax, say, "What next? Britney Spears in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?? 'Hey y'all, I think, like, Maggie the Cat is alive er sum'in'...' Oy vey!"