Thursday, December 31, 2015

You said it, Da...

Years back, at Terri and Dave's wedding, my father and I, not fond of religious events having both been raised Catholic and had quite enough of such gatherings, stood in the lobby just outside the church before the ceremony was to begin. I looked up suddenly and saw a plaque on the wall stating that the cathedral we were in (pause - it was essentially a cabin with an alter. I've seen a cathedral, this was not one of them.) was a Protestant church. I made eye contact with my father, then tilted my head toward the plaque, one eyebrow raised. He read the words, turned his back to it, looked out the glass windows and said, "Like being in the belly of the beast."

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Circle of Life, Simba

Over dinner with BFF Amy the other night we discussed her life on the farm. She and her husband are raising chickens and turkeys as well as keeping bees. Amy spoke of the deer they killed on their land, using a crossbow, and told me all that occurs when a beast goes from buck to venison. I asked if she had to take classes on how to gut a deer to which she replied, "Everything I learned about butchering animals I learned from YouTube."

Friday, October 23, 2015

Unknowingly Cruel

Michael told me a while back about one of his clients greeting him and his co-worker Diane. The client sweetly turned to Diane and with all sincerity told her, "Oh, Diane, I wish I could put on weight like you do." She smiled and then went about her day. But da-yum....that's just cold.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Franklin Mills IS Gross


"We went to see a Kevin Hart movie in Franklin Mills. Franklin Mills is gross. The theatre smelled like sausage and hot wings. We went to leave half way through and this guy at the end of the row didn't get up. Dude's like a giant. I'm like, 'Move! You're big as shit!'"

Saturday, June 27, 2015

We Heart Andrew Duggan

Here's a text I sent to my little brother, Xavier, while watching an ep of McMillan and Wife. He immediately knew the actor's face from our favourite childhood Wonderful World of Disney show, Fire on Kelly Mountain AND he even remembered Duggan's character's name. Unbelievable.

(photo kidnapped from disney.wikia)

Thursday, June 25, 2015


I had to hit pause and collect myself after this line. Puppy night-night? Oh my lord Jesus. Too freakin' funny!!

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Where Youse At?