Southern Gent

Seven had a customer one evening with a gorgeous Arkansas accent. She regaled Seven with a tale of her traipsing all over town looking for the book that she finally found thanks to his assistance. After stating that, "I got stuck in a mess of a storm and my wipers went and quit on me whilst I was driving down the road!" Seven took her southern wit and raised her with, "Yes, ma'am, that's worse den a possum goin' down a hole backwards." That it is.

The Dreaded Hat

Three years into working at the Hellmouth, the cafe staff were forced to start wearing hideous corporate baseball caps. People walked out in the middle of their shifts, frowns were worn daily, and heated arguments were held in the backroom. No one was happy - especially me. Seven stopped by to lend his support and throw some humor around the place. He approached the counter, looked at my pouty face and said, "Miss Star, I feel you should embrace the hat by going with a sombrero." I lasted another half year and moved on. I couldn't take wearing that god-awful thing. Baby had to move on to greener pastures!

Settin' the Ladies Straight

One of Seven's stable of ladies over the years that I've known him had said to him one evening, "You know, Seven, you really should stop smoking. It's gross and I don't like it." His response was a no-nonsense, "Honey, these cigarettes have been around long before you and they will be here long after you're gone. Okay?"

Seven Strikes Again

One evening outside the Hellmouth, a handful of us were smoking and chatting and I asked everyone what they would have been named had they been the opposite sex. (I would have been called Michael Thomas). Seven said he didn't know but spoke of the debate between his parents before settling on Seven. "Yeah, my father wanted to name me Fritz. Fritz Bauer. Sounds like an SS officer. My mother liked Blake. Blake Bauer. I would have been destined for a career in the adult film industry with that name. Sadly though, I am Korean from the waist down." Be that as it may, it needs to be stated that Seven never had any difficulty woo-ing the ladies.

Seven Gives His Opinion

"Sometimes when I look at Barbra Streisand's face I wonder if I'll ever be able to achieve an erection again."
(i had said that i always found her to be super attractive, but sev said that she hasn't been remotely attractive since a star is born. was she in that?? if kris kristofferson is in a film, i see only him...)

The Return of Seven

One afternoon at the Hellmouth I was chillin' at the info desk and chatting with Seven. A very young and aesthetically pleasing girl strolled past and Seven followed her every step with longing eyes. He leaned towards me, still watching her and remarked, "I'd like to make-a some romance in her." Hilarity.

Seven

Back in '05 when I worked at the Hellmouth, there was a cat named Seven who was real suave and totally beatnik. He was what the gals back home would call a hot bundle. Well, on one of our many discussions out in the parking lot after closing, Seven would share with us some interesting and often times bizarre observations and revelations that he had come to know. Here is a personal favorite: "I aspire to one day cuckold Quincy Jones." I believe that he actually has a shot at this...