Fightin' Irish

I used to work with this woman, Natalie. She was about forty and sweet as can be. Every shift with her had me doubled over laughing. She had such a hilarious way about her and it seemed impossible for her to not be funny as hell. One afternoon, Natalie, Kathy and I were talking about fights we'd been in during our youth. Kathy, from Chicago's South Side, had some that made us all a little afraid. Natalie then told us that she used to get into fights all the time. I was a tad stunned. Natalie? Fight? I mean, she looked as though she'd spent her adolescence making daisy chains in a meadow. Oh, how wrong I was. She then proceeded to tell us how at age 21 when she was hanging out with her then boyfriend and future husband that her sister said something to piss her off. Natalie grabbed her sister by the back of her head and then started smashing her fist repeatedly into her sister's face. Natalie actually broke her hand from doing this; oh, and her sister had just finished recovering from a nose job. In case you were curious, Jersey girls fight for reals; no hair pulling and scratching. We go full tilt boogie.

We ♥ Charlie

(photo kidnapped from fanpop)

My entire family is mildly obsessed with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (with the exception of my father, of course. Marines don't laugh.). Back in, I guess, late 2007/early 2008, I stopped over my parents' to find my mother watching the show. My mother is a nice Irish Catholic Girl from Hallahan, so the fact that she was watching Sunny was nothing short of astonishing. Apparently the rough and tough Jersey girls from her office were talking about the series and how incredibly hilarious it is and Mama Rose decided to see for herself. I walked in at the end of The Gang Finds a Dead Guy from season one and saw Charlie eating a bowl of Cocoa Puffs (what else could it be?) and wearing a Nazi officer's cap. I was instantly intrigued. This year all three of my brothers finally got around to checking it out and we are all equally in love with Charlie. The other night I showed Melissa the ep Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender chiefly for the scene in the Range Rover when Charlie screams like a little girl. Here are the texts sent between myself, Melissa, Xavier and Mum:

Melissa: I keep thinking of that scream all day, I keep randomly laughing out loud. ☺
then later: Honestly, can't stop laughing about charlie.

Xavier: Dude, Bosses was so good. charlie Day is awesome!!!

Star to Xavier: whenever charlie screams an angel gets its wings. of this i am certain.

Star to Mum: did you see Horrible Bosses w/barb??

Mum: Yes it was funny. I loved the 3 guys, especially Charlie.

Mrs. Le Bon

(photo kidnapped from topfloormusic)
Heart at work was telling me about a friend of hers in high school named Staci. Staci was obsessed with Duran Duran lead singer, Simon Le Bon. So obsessed in fact that she would act as though the two were really an item. "She was deeply disturbed," Heart explained, "We would be at the Cherry Hill Mall and she would be looking at the men's ties and say, 'Don't you think this will look so good on Simon? I know he'll just love it.' Then she would seriously buy it! And then send it to him in England!!! I can't believe her mother didn't get her some help. Star, she actually saved money to fly to the UK and stand outside his house. She was a sick, sick girl." Sounds it.

Separated at Birth??

"Hey, Peg, do you like James Patterson?"
"Aw...from Eight Is Enough?"
"Um....that's Dick Patterson."

Good Vibrations

(photo kidnapped from comicbookmovie)

At work Marky Mark's Good Vibrations came on and instantly I swooned to Heart, "Oh my God, Heart, I had thee biggest crush on Marky Mark." She responded with, "I'm feelin' it." If you know the song as well as I, then you understand.

Outline This

Reminiscing at work with Heart the other day, I asked, "Heart, do you remember outliners? You'd push the tip down and then it'd underline in gold or silver."

"Uh, no, ya fancy rich kid from Cherry Hill."

It should be stated that outliners were never expensive and that I was most definitely not a rich kid in the 80s.

Difference of Opinion

Yesterday I was hanging out with my friend Noelle from the neighborhood. I was helping her put stuff in the back of her parents' mini-van (she's ten) when I noticed two blankets, one Hello Kitty and one Dora the Explorer. I knew that the HK one was Noelle's sister, Rebecca's, so I said, "Oh, cool, you've got a Dora blankey!"
"Yeah...I really wanted a Hello Kitty one..."
"You don't like Dora?!"
"No."
"What about Diego?"
"They're the same thing."
"Nuh-uh. I like Diego. I think he's hawt. I wanna kiss him."
Then Noelle got a horrified look on her face and said, "Ew...he's a preschooler!"
It's worth Noelle and Rebecca thinking I'm the weirdest girl on the block just to see their reaction to my crazy comments.

Gigi's Favourite Line

Gigi at work loves to say this in a sarcastic, exasperated tone, and it always cracks me up, "I haven't had this much fun since John died." She later explained that a friend of hers used to say it and that neither of them have any clue who John is or was.

The Russian

After five freakin' years, my boss finally got around to fixing the bay door at the warehouse. The man who came to repair it was a charming Russian with a contagious carefree attitude. I was packing boxes and jammin' out to Marc Anthony's Contra la Corriente but overheard him asking Heart why it took five years to call someone out to fix the door. She got called away to the phone and was not able to answer him. A couple hours later as he was finishing up, he turned to Heart and said, "Now I see why it has taken five years to fix this." Heart, I could tell, immediately went on the defensive, but the Russian continued to explain himself, "The smells are good here, everyone is happy, there is good music. Everything is nice. There is no reason to worry about silly broken doors." Totally charming.

Dean Martin on the Hi-Fi

While working with my boss last week, we were relaxing to the swingin' sounds of Dean Martin's A Kick in the Head. Heart asks me, "Is this Frank Sinatra?" and when I told her it was Dean she replied, "Oh well, right pack, wrong rat." Whatever, I thought it was cute.

Megan's Freudian Slip

Hanging out at work with the ladies, we were chilling to the local radio station. The B-52s were on and talk turned to what have they honestly done since "Love Shack" and "Roam" and how is it that they are still touring. I explained that they have a large gay following and that the gay community alone can keep so-called One Hit Wonders in business for decades. Megan exclaimed, "Oh, I just love the gay community!" ....long dead silence.... "No! Ha! I meant that I love The B-52s. I like the gay community too, though." Gotta love that Megan.