Flirty Texts with Skylar!

 

Shady Maple

December of 2012 Skylar celebrated his 21st birthday in, er, um...style. He explained the following Monday,
"This weekend me and eight of my friends rented a limo and went out to Lancaster." Perplexed, I said, "You took a limousine to Amish Country?" With an ear to ear grin, Skylar told us, "Yup! To Shady Maple's Smorgasbord. Then we went to the Outlet stores and I got a Coach bag." Of course he did.

(Skylar is the handsome devil at the far right.)

Bleck!

Skylar's mum works at a gluten free bakery and a few weeks back he brought in some loaves for us gals to test out. I finally got around to trying a slice the other day. Yeah, it's not good. When I saw him at work I was straight up honest with him; "Skylar, that gluten free bread was so bad, I think it gave me rickets."

Delish!

Sitting next to Skylar in the office the other day, I was leaning over his shoulder when he says, "You smell really good." He turns around and sees that I was eating a butterscotch Dum Dum. "Oh, it's that. I was like, you smell like breakfast syrup..."

If only...

Me: I need a new bladder. I peepod entirely too much.

Skylar: You need like a bionic bladder or one that's like an oil refinery and it just burns it off.

Oh my god, that would be incredible. Seriously, I had to use the loo eleven times at work yesterday. This juicing and drinking water is bullshit. I'd slaughter small children for a slice of pizza right about now. Okay, that's an exaggeration. I'd definitely pinch one real hard on the back of their arm though.