Slip of the Tongue

Today I went to pick up Melissa and got a chance to see her roommate, Marci and Marci's two kids, Carla & Darlene. They were sitting on the floor watching an episode of Hannah Montana with Jon Cryer. Carla turns to her mother and asks, "Is he considered a whore with all those things in his room?" Through stunned silence came Marci's, "What??!" "A hoarder, is he a hoarder with all those things in his room? Isn't that what I said?" Um, it sure was, sweetie.

Overdose

Michael was telling me that one of the people that comes in to see him, let's call him Arthur, has an annoying habit of mentioning the Lord or a Bible verse every time he speaks. Example:
"Good morning, Arthur. How are you today?"
"Well, by the grace and power of our Lord Jesus Christ, I am well. And how are you today in the name of our Lord and saviour Christ Almighty?"
"Ugh."

Text from Melissa

She took a picture of her bum and said this: it was a true eye opener. i knew i had junk in my trunk, but i didn't know i was a hoarder!
I'm telling you, that girl is a riot.

Email from Bishop

Subject: he's at it again

Message: mr. statham is shooting for oscar gold!

Bishop then included the link for Jason Statham's latest project The Mechanic. Awful, just awful. Statham needs to go back to modeling; he is more interesting when he does nothing but look good. And even his looks are wearing thin since the only time I see him is when he's attached to yet another dreadfully ridackulous piece of celluloid.

Savannah Mae's Return

The other day Savannah was having a crappity crap day at work and later told Melissa, "I was so mad earlier....I said some bad words. Girl, I made Jesus cry." That's actually not sayin' much seein' as Christ weeps almost as much as Michael Landon.

Laughter in the Laundry Room

Last night I was hanging out with my two favourite lil' cousins, Kayla age ten, and Jaeden, nine. Jaeden and I were chatting about cyberschool when Kayla came in to give me one of her ten minute long hugs. I finally pulled her on my knee and that's when she said, "I feel like a lesbian right now." I cracked up and told her, "Well then you are the hottest lesbian I've ever had sit on my lap!" "Really? Thanks Aunt Lucy."

I ♥ The Office

When I first heard this I laughed so hard that I had to immediately write it down before I forgot what had been said. I recently came across that scrap of paper and laughed just as much.

Jo: I want you to cover his ass like tightie whities.

Michael: I'm gonna cover his ass like moss on a Mississippi tree stump.