Overdose

Michael was telling me that one of the people that comes in to see him, let's call him Arthur, has an annoying habit of mentioning the Lord or a Bible verse every time he speaks. Example:
"Good morning, Arthur. How are you today?"
"Well, by the grace and power of our Lord Jesus Christ, I am well. And how are you today in the name of our Lord and saviour Christ Almighty?"
"Ugh."

Text from Melissa

She took a picture of her bum and said this: it was a true eye opener. i knew i had junk in my trunk, but i didn't know i was a hoarder!
I'm telling you, that girl is a riot.

Email from Bishop

Subject: he's at it again

Message: mr. statham is shooting for oscar gold!

Bishop then included the link for Jason Statham's latest project The Mechanic. Awful, just awful. Statham needs to go back to modeling; he is more interesting when he does nothing but look good. And even his looks are wearing thin since the only time I see him is when he's attached to yet another dreadfully ridackulous piece of celluloid.

Savannah Mae's Return

The other day Savannah was having a crappity crap day at work and later told Melissa, "I was so mad earlier....I said some bad words. Girl, I made Jesus cry." That's actually not sayin' much seein' as Christ weeps almost as much as Michael Landon.

Laughter in the Laundry Room

Last night I was hanging out with my two favourite lil' cousins, Kayla age ten, and Jaeden, nine. Jaeden and I were chatting about cyberschool when Kayla came in to give me one of her ten minute long hugs. I finally pulled her on my knee and that's when she said, "I feel like a lesbian right now." I cracked up and told her, "Well then you are the hottest lesbian I've ever had sit on my lap!" "Really? Thanks Aunt Lucy."

I ♥ The Office

When I first heard this I laughed so hard that I had to immediately write it down before I forgot what had been said. I recently came across that scrap of paper and laughed just as much.

Jo: I want you to cover his ass like tightie whities.

Michael: I'm gonna cover his ass like moss on a Mississippi tree stump.

Buster Bloodvessel

Best name for a lead singer ever!

(photo kidnapped from thejournal)