Nana Irma Speaks Up

My Nana has always stated that there exists no better cook than her mother-in-law, my Great Granny Esther. This was made clear to me at age 11 while witnessing a heated argument between her and my Grandad. As she served me a slice of pizza from a local shoppe, Nana Irm smiled down at me and said, "You know, dear, no one made a better pizza than my mother-in-law." (I was a bit baffled, being that Esther was very German and not at all Italian.) It was at this point that Grandad Thomas jumped in with, "Oh, hogwash! Irma, you make Mom out to be much better than she actually was. Her cooking was merely fair." This was apparently akin to a punch in the gut, because for the first and only time in my life, Nana Irma became angry. She snapped her head around and shouted in my Grandad's face, "THAT'S A LIE, TOM AND YOU KNOW IT! My mother-in-law could make B.M. taste good!" Then the room fell into the deepest silence that may ever have been known to mankind. Well, until I whispered 'gross...' under my breath.