Gluegens

Workin' the aisles one afternoon, Gluegens pulled me into the backroom to tell me of his run in with a certain German customer. "Schlagens (that was what Joe called me - our work names are derived from an imaginary brand of sauerkraut), you're not gonna believe this. I'm shelving the dog food and this woman comes up and asks me in this thick German accent if I have a penis." "Get the fuck outta here, she did not." "Hand to God, she looked me dead in the eye and said, 'You 'ave pea-nis?' and I started to unzip and told her, 'Hey baby, I got what you want...' when she shouted, 'No! No! Pea-nuts! Do you 'ave pea-nuts??' I was a little disappointed, Schlag."