Jonathan Rhys Meyers

(photo kidnapped from tvpopcrunch)

Watching season 1, episode 2 of The Tudors last night with Fr. Michael, there was a scene where Henry walks into the room shirtless. That's when Michael said, "Whew - he'd look good in a pair of soccer shorts, wouldn't he?" I imagine he would.

Do you mean...

Michael was telling me about the segment he saw of a country music awards show that featured a familiar face whose name slipped his mind. "Who was that black man that barked into the microphone in the 1990s?" What??!! Barked? Then he whined a few bars of a Hootie song and I said, "Do you mean Darius Rucker? From Hootie and the Blowfish?" To this day, I cannot think of Michael saying this without busting a gut laughing.

Concession

While waiting in line at the concession stand of Marina's local movie theatre, we stood, mouths agape over the prices. This is nothing new. Everyone who attends their local cineplex is appalled at what they charge. It's as if the theatre is unaware of the cost of these items in the real world. The small is 16oz, medium is 24oz, and then large is 64 oz. It makes zero sense. I turned to Marina and said, "This is ridackulous. It's like 'Ma'am what are your sizes and prices?' 'Well, we have an eyedropper for $4.25, a thimble for 5.25, and a trough for 5.75.' And therein lies the absurdity. The entire system of sizing and pricing was clearly set up by a team of brain dead orangutans." Marina and I then decided to leave the queue and head to theatre with only our saliva to subsist on.

Delicious Decisions

Fr. Michael and I went to Lena's this past weekend to get some homemade ice cream. The kids that work there have a tip jar that says Tips for College. While awaiting his sundae, Michael asked where the young ladies were intending to go to school. One was planning to study holistic medicine and massage therapy at a nearby institute while the other girl was hoping for a career in engineering. As we walked toward the car, Michael said, "Kids today are so intelligent. They have such a firm grasp on their future and what career choices they should be making. Me? 'Um, yes, I think I'll study religion and get my masters degree in theology so that I can work in the fitting room of The Gap at age twenty-nine.' Jesus wept! The choices I've made for myself often have me questioning my intellect and if I indeed have any at all."

Eric

(photo kidnapped from zimbio)

Discussing the men of True Blood with Michael, he went on a bit of a rant over what seems to be everyones favourite hunk on the show, Eric Northman played by Alexander Skarsgård. I think he's most certainly a handsome fella, but Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) is the one who holds my gaze. Michael, ever the honest if slightly bitchy man that he is, said this of Eric, "He looks as though he had a peripheral role on some USA original series that ran for 3 weeks and was promptly canceled. There is nothing extraordinary about him whatsoever." Ouch! Luckily, Mr. Skarsgård won't lose an ounce of sleep over that comment. How could he hear it over the screaming adoration of three-fourths of the country's population - male as well as female? He couldn't.

Christian Dentistry

Fr. Michael was ranting about a local advert he saw on the telly the other night: "A commercial for Christian Dentistry featuring the dentist's children saying 'M'Daddy loves Jesus AND your teeth!' I wanted to immediately take up devil worshiping. I wanted to sell - no give - my soul to Satan. Liza, I need to find a new religion because I can't, I can't...Can you imagine going to the dentist and hearing about the Lord? Gimme a fucking break. I'd fuckin' kill myself. Unbelievable..."

P'shaw!

So I finally got a chance to catch up with Melissa the other night and she was filling me in on her weekend. Saturday night the hurricane was getting into full swing and Melis was on her feet all night at the restaurant. They decided to close early and she said that there was one older couple that seemed unfazed by the roaring winds and torrential downpour. Melissa told me, "This old guy was a total World War 2 vet - I could just tell from looking at him. I told him that we would be closing early cause of the storm and he looked at me as if to convey 'Hurricane? I killed Nazis fer Chrissakes. Bring me another scotch, sweetie!' I was almost furious with them for staying so late and drinking themselves into oblivion, but he referred to his wife at one point as his bride, so I couldn't stay mad." (As she told this story I pictured Carwood Lipton in a blue polo shirt and freshly pressed slacks with white leather loafers.)