The Howard Family

When my mother was a kid her best friend was Marge Howard. Marge's family was nothing short of completely bizarre, but in a somewhat endearing and adorable way. A prime example of their weirdness would be the time her older brother Gerry came strolling down the staircase with the bedroom door under his arm. Mr. Howard, seated in the worn-in plaid Barcalounger, looked up and asked, "Where do you think you're going with that?" Gerry nonchalantly replied, "Ah, don't sweat it, Pops, I'll bring it back." Mr. Howard responded with, "See that you do, son," and went back to his pipe and paper. Another time, the house had been burglarized and no one noticed until Mr. Howard went to lean on the television set and fell to the floor. However, my all time favourite story of this wacky group was when my mother was in 7th grade and went to meet Marge so they could walk to school together. Marge was feeling under the weather and Mrs. Howard was taking her temperature in the kitchen. Oh, yeah, she was taking Marge's temperature rectally - in front of my mother. Mum says that to this day she is still horrified by that image that she somehow cannot erase. Yikes.