Matt from The Aisles

I used to work with this kid Matt who was serious, almost stoic, and very difficult to read, but in the end one would discover that he was really a beautiful guy. One day we were in the bulk closet, he on the phone, I waiting to ask him a question. Apparently, the customer asked where the holiday foods and such were specifically located. Matt replied, "Our holiday merchandise is sprinkled throughout the store," and motioned with his hand like he was a one of Barker's Beauties. I had to cover my mouth so as not to bust out laughing. The best part was the look of confusion on his own face after he said "sprinkled." Later, as we left the closet, I asked what in the hell made him say sprinkled and he became slightly irate, turned back to me and whisper-shouted, "Man, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing taday. It's fuckin' bedlam in this place. I mean, I'm lookin' for fig spread in the specialty section and I don't know what the hell that even is!" In his frustration, his outburst left me in stitches.